Vote yes on “We don’t need doctors!”

If this proposition doesn’t exist, I’m petitioning for one!

I’ve visited a couple of doctors this week to prep for international travel. I went to see a Physician yesterday. This was my first doctor visit in a long time so I picked a random physician from the HMO directory.  I was a bit nervous when I saw he was located in a strip mall and the big channel letter sign above the building said, what else…PHYSICIAN.  The fact that he was between an Indian grocery store and a Taqueria added to my apprehension but a physical was way overdue so I took the leap and went in.

TWO HOURS! - two hours of my life I could’ve spent taking pictures with the new lens I just got, constantly updating my twitter status, looking at random blogs and videos, were spent waiting in the lobby, being passed around from one room to another….feeling violated before the damn physician said there’s nothing wrong with me ;->

First it was the new patient registration form that sucked the life out of my semi-carpal-tunneled hands.  For the 50th time:

- I don’t have Aids

- I don’t have Hep B, C or Z (Z coming soon to a neighborhood near you unless we stop f***g up our animals and crops with weird ass pesticides and genetically treated hormones)

- I drink occassionally (okay this one I have to lie a little) and I don’t smoke.

- Oh and no surgeries, allergies or family histories.

Second came vitals and this obnoxious “oh no you dii..n’t step on the scale the wrong way” nurse. Third I saw the mother of multi-taskers, my “preferred physician” who, with a staff of 5, was trying to see 30 patients an hour.

I know our healthcare system is bad (yeah yeah…we know you darn joe the Canadian plumbers) but yesterday made me realize it’s not just bad, it’s terrible. I pay enough for health insurance, and if I show up on time to an appointment, I better not have to wait for more than 15 unless a man shows up with a head stuck in a blender.  Although chances are I’ll ask him “I’d let you go homey but gotta go back and update facebook and stuff…can you wait it out? I came here on time and was way ahead of you.”

This is not the first time that I’ve waited for an appointment for over an hour, and am sure it will continue to happen again.  I know I can live my life playing doctor on the biggest health care database.  Can you?