Give me a f***in bailout!

NY times reports today that the steel industry is the next one to collapse….right after the automakers; nice!

If you’re fully recovered from NYE and half as sharp as your new President, you’d know what’s coming next……a Bailout!

W    T     F!!!!!! (please note the extra spaces that accentuate my rage).

The last post for 2008 from my man Om Malik described how we’ve learned to accept mediocrity.  The steel industry demanding a piece of the “federal stimulus” only seconds what Om mentioned is coming next.

On the plus side of things, I’m starting to dig the new politicabulary2.0 - federal  stimulus, palinode, car czar (I know it’s been around for a while but come ON)…the supply of new buzz words seems endless but there is not one word that describes a real solution. In fact, printing paper money and injecting it into large corporations with no solid plan for payback, reminds me of the 911 commission (remember that?). For a while it’s a hot subject, there are deadlines to be met, agencies to be scrutinized, independent audits to be conducted…. but it all cools off in a few years, there is another war we’ve started, another natural disaster has happened that takes away all the media attention.  Heck, at that point, it’s too late for even Miachel Moore to shake things up.

I think this is exactly what will happen with the stimulus plan.  We’ll loan a bunch of paper money and it will disappear without payback….so ultimately the plan will make us poorer? Totally Sweet!

So I’m thinking….what next? I think we just start a petition using facebook/twitter and get some personal reasons to get a personal bailout…say what?

Hear me out - all I’m saying is we’ve bailed out several evp’s and ceo’s who’ve made some bad choices (really bad choices)…why not do the same for the average Joe?

Brilliant, right?  I’m starting my list, let’s do the chain letter spam or the 1 million in 1 week facebook users on this one and who knows, we might just get lucky.

- My wife spent better part of her income at Union Square…..can she get a bailout? (and no, she is not willing to forfeit anything with a designer logo on it)

- My friend made some bad choices with his restaurant (mostly beyond his control)….can a brother get a bailout?

- My dad lost tons of money in the stock market…he’s a really nice guy. Bet he’s nicer than Ford’s President…can he get a bailout? He did nothing wrong - even when he went out of town, he was frugal and stayed at regular suites instead of the luxury ones.  PLEASE!

- Finally, my business is doing well; I’m just tired of flying southwest….crying babies, peanuts and soda, bitchy stewardesses and leg room designed for “lil people”…I’m done!  I’ve worked way too hard the last few years, and really need a corporate jet so I can fly up to Carmel and live it up using my platinum membership at pebble beach. I don’t “want it”, I “need it”.

You gave it to so many others…..now it’s time to give me a f***in bailout!